Just as there are productive ways to cope with trials, positive things we can do to get things under control, so, likewise, there are things to avoid as we try to cope:
- It is important, when a problem arises, not to look for someone else to blame.
- We must not take it out on others when we ourselves are under strain. We have to avoid 'dumping' on those around us.
- We have to avoid making excuses for whatever degree of fault may be ours.
- We should avoid going silent and uncommunicative when things go wrong or we feel we have been offended. Sulking does not become us. We have to stay with the brothers and not go into withdrawal.
- We have to be careful not to fall back into old, unredeemed patterns of behaviour, strategies that we habitually resorted to before we got serious about our relationship with the Lord. Things like throwing objects around, drinking, pornography, masturbation, developing and nursing grudges, disappearing into the television set, feverish activity, or a total entertainment mode.